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the days of my life-第118章

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ight as well expect to inherit salvation by virtue of a study of the doctrines of Confucius。 I hope that they will inherit it all the same; since God; who knows what is in man and the clay whereof we are fashioned; is merciful; and there may be; and probably are; many roads to the gate of Life; but in this case it can scarcely be reached by the faint and wandering path of a materialised and eviscerated Christianity。 Christianity as an effective creed depends; and always must depend; upon the Resurrection of its Founder while He dwelt on earth。 Or so I hold。
How; then; is this necessary faith to be attained by those who doubt? Perhaps in many ways; though I only know of one — namely; by prayer。 It is; at any rate in its higher forms; a gift accorded in answer to prayer; it is an inspiration of the Spirit of our Maker which flows down the connecting links of prayer。 By prayer; too; I do not mean a few hurried or formal mumblings in the morning or at bedtime: I mean the continual; almost the hourly; conversation of the creature with his God。 I mean the habitual uplifting of the heart to heaven; the constant cry of fallen nature in sorrow; in joy; in sin; in every circumstance of life; to the Highest of all natures; who remembers of what metal it is made because in the beginning (ah! what beginning?) it was from Him and is still His own。 Feeble; unworthy though it be; such prayer offered on your own behalf or on that of others; I am sure is heard; is answered across the unutterable spaces — or so it has often seemed to me — if put up in faith。 Sometimes even; for a little while it causes us to understand what is meant by the peace of God that passes understanding。 Further; it is as necessary to the sin…stained soul as is food to the frail body。 For indeed even those among us; with whom such as I cannot presume to rank ourselves; are full of faults and must appear to the Perfect Eye as though stricken with a moral leprosy。 Our only hope; knowing and remembering these faults; however oft and bitterly repented of; is to say like the man in the temple; “Lord; I am a miserable sinner”; to seek for the help we cannot give to ourselves; to crave that we too may be sprinkled with the atoning Blood。 Why this should be necessary I cannot say — for who can prehend these wonders? — any more than I can understand the origin and meanings of sin; which often enough seems to consist merely in giving obedience to the imperious demands of that body with which we have been clothed。 The gratification of these impulses generally bees sin; because Nature has no laws except her own; and her ancient rule is not that revealed by Christ in the latter days。
So it is with almost everything: even true affection or any other virtue exaggerated can turn to vice。 It would seem as though a man’s trials here were purposely made as hard as may be; so hard that at times we may perhaps be forgiven if we wonder whether this world; at any rate for some; is not in truth one of the chambers of the house of hell; or at least of that purgatory preached — so far as I know without warrant — as a doctrine of the Roman faith。 By prayer; then; we can be purged and helped; prayer for ourselves; prayer for others; for the living; yes; and for the dead; for who will dare to say that even the dead are beyond the reach of benefit from our feeble crying in the night to the Ruler of that night? Prayer; I repeat; is heard; prayer; if it be directed to lawful ends; is answered sometimes when it seems to be made most in vain。 If only we had faith enough no right thing would be refused to us。 Who knows the harvest that we sow by means of earnest; faithful prayer; and; though its seed lie buried for a season; shall one day reap? But most of all; I think; should we pray for knowledge how to pray!
Now the road to this goal of faith; which must be found and kept open by prayer; still remains full of obstacles and apt to vanish quite away; leaving the weary wanderer in a desert where no water is。 Light fails; dark grows the sky; again and yet again cold winds of doubt freeze him to the marrow; sins overtake and conquer him; voices mock him from the gloom。 They bid him look back to the warm world he left upon his foolish quest to find a star whither no path leads that mortal can follow。 They point to the bones of those who have fallen by the way。 They whisper that his error lies in not taking what he may have while there is still time; since soon he must go empty to the sleep which knows no waking。 Poor fare; perhaps; they say; yet better than feeding upon wind and bedewing the altar of a heedless or non…existent God with repentant tears because of half…imaginary sins begotten by a nature the sinner did not shape。
What traveller of the sort is there who has not been thrown back upon his thorny journey by such thoughts as these? Or perhaps some hideous and cruel loss has caused him to doubt whether; after all; any Power does exist that knows the name of pity or can thrill with the glow of love。 Or the shock may take other forms。 He may find that those whom he thought to be inspired from on high with goodness are merely stupid; that they avoid conspicuous and open error because their slow natures are shut to temptations of the larger sort; though they breed a growth of petty mischiefs not textually named among the Ten mandments and therefore; say they; of no account。 Or that some friend whom he respects and has leant on; perhaps a clergyman of standing; after all believes in little; and though he practises its forms has reduced Christianity to the level of high and pure philosophy enunciated by an unfortunate; self…denying young Jew of genius with whom the established Church of the period very well knew how to deal。 Or it may be a brilliant but materialistic book that he chances on; wherein he finds all the points upon which he has been accustomed to rely very cleverly attacked。 Or some great doctor may disturb him by showing forth the origin of all such aspirations as those of faith written in the human nerves and brain。 Or; to take only one more example; he may after all find it impossible to reconcile the fact of the existence of a good and merciful God with the state of affairs he sees existing in this world。 A mon and effective trap; this; for generous and hasty minds。
I think that I have fallen over all these stumbling…blocks; and others; in the course of my life; which has set me wondering why they should be so many。 At length; after long pondering; I have ansy own satisfaction; though probably enough the reply which suffices me will make some readers smile。 It is simple; five words cover it。 “The Devil put them there。”
Yes; I have e back to a belief in the old scriptural Satan; now so generally discarded; though be it remembered that our Lord was perfectly definite on the point of his existence — so definite; indeed; that it is scarcely logical to believe in the one without believing in the other。 Fear not those who kill the body and then have done all that they can do; but fear him who after death has power to cast into Gehenna; He says; and many like things that cannot be misread。
Whoso considers the world and the horrible things that happen here; things to wring tears from the eyes; yes; and blood from every honest heart that can understand; must feel that for some reason which is hidden from us it exists under a dual government — that of the divine Power of Good; which we know as God; and that of the infernal Power of Ill; which we call Evil and personify as the Devil or Satan。 I will take one instance from a multitude: it will serve as a type of what I mean — the presence amongst us of the hideous traffic in souls and bodies; worse by far than that of the man…sellers of all ages; known as the White Slave trade; which; I may add; is another stumbling…block to faith for us who cannot see an inch before out feet and guess not the end thereof。 It is obvious — I say it with all reverence — that the Holy One; and Christ who is a part of Him; would not permit such an ineffable horror to exist if it could be ended with a blow。 Therefore reason; which after all is; I presume; some guide and index to the causes and parative values of such phenomena as we can apprehend; teaches 
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