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pgw.adamselindistress-第37章

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agon which lay on its side against one of the walls。
 Depression returned。 It was impossible to fight against it in this beast of a barn。 The place was like a sepulchre。 No one but a fool of a butler would have suggested it as a trysting…place。  He wondered irritably why places like this were allowed to get into this condition。 If people wanted a barn earnestly enough to take the trouble of building one; why was it not worth while to keep the thing in proper repair? Waste and futility! That was what it was。 That was what everything was; if you came down to it。 Sitting here; for instance; was a futile waste of time。  She wouldn't e。 There were a dozen reasons why she should not e。 So what was the use of his courting rheumatism by waiting in this morgue of dead agricultural ambitions? None whateverGeorge went on waiting。
 And what an awful place to expect her to e to; if by some miracle she did ewhere she would be stifled by the smell of mouldy hay; damped by raindrops andreflected George gloomily as there was another scurry and scutter along the unseen floorgnawed by rats。 You could not expect a delicately…nurtured girl; accustomed to all the forts of a home; to be bright and sunny with a platoon of rats crawling all over her。。。。
 The grey oblong that was the doorway suddenly darkened。
 〃Mr。 Bevan!〃
 George sprang up。 At the sound of her voice every nerve in his body danced in mad exhilaration。 He was another man。  Depression fell from him like a garment。 He perceived that he had misjudged all sorts of things。 The evening; for instance; was a splendid eveningnot one of those awful dry; baking evenings which make you feel you can't breathe; but pleasantly moist and full of a delightfully musical patter of rain。 And the barn! He had been all wrong about the barn。 It was a great little place; fortable; airy; and cheerful。 What could be more invigorating than that smell of hay? Even the rats; he felt; must be pretty decent rats; when you came to know them。
 〃I'm here!〃
 Maud advanced quickly。 His eyes had grown accustomed to the murk; and he could see her dimly。 The smell of her damp raincoat came to him like a breath of ozone。 He could even see her eyes shining in the darkness; so close was she to him。
 〃I hope you've not been waiting long?〃
 George's heart was thundering against his ribs。 He could scarcely speak。 He contrived to emit a No。
 〃I didn't think at first I could get away。 I had to 。 。 。〃 She broke off with a cry。 The rat; fond of exercise like all rats; had made another of its excitable sprints across the floor。
 A hand clutched nervously at George's arm; found it and held it。 And at the touch the last small fragment of George's self…control fled from him。 The world became vague and unreal。  There remained of it but one solid factthe fact that Maud was in his arms and that he was saying a number of things very rapidly in a voice that seemed to belong to somebody he had never met before。
 
 CHAPTER 19。
 
 With a shock of dismay so abrupt and overwhelming that it was like a physical injury; George became aware that something was wrong。 Even as he gripped her; Maud had stiffened with a sharp cry; and now she was struggling; trying to wrench herself free。 She broke away from him。 He could hear her breathing hard。
 〃Youyou〃 She gulped。
 〃Maud!〃
 〃How dare you!〃
 There was a pause that seemed to George to stretch on and on endlessly。 The rain pattered on the leafy roof。 Somewhere in the distance a dog howled dismally。 The darkness pressed down like a blanket; stifling thought。
 〃Good night; Mr。 Bevan。〃 Her voice was ice。 〃I didn't think you werethat kind of man。〃
 She was moving toward the door; and; as she reached it; George's stupor left him。 He came back to life with a jerk; shaking from head to foot。 All his varied emotions had bee one emotiona cold fury。
 〃Stop!〃
 Maud stopped。 Her chin was tilted; and she was wasting a baleful glare on the darkness。
 〃Well; what is it?〃
 Her tone increased George's wrath。 The injustice of it made him dizzy。 At that moment he hated her。 He was the injured party。 It was he; not she; that had been deceived and made a fool of。
 〃I want to say something before you go。〃
 〃I think we had better say no more about it!〃
 By the exercise of supreme self…control George kept himself from speaking until he could choose milder words than those that rushed to his lips。
 〃I think we will!〃 he said between his teeth。
 Maud's anger became tinged with surprise。 Now that the first shock of the wretched episode was over; the calmer half of her mind was endeavouring to soothe the infuriated half by urging that George's behaviour had been but a momentary lapse; and that a man may lose his head for one wild instant; and yet remain fundamentally a gentleman and a friend。 She had begun to remind herself that this man had helped her once in trouble; and only a day or two before had actually risked his life to save her from embarrassment。 When she heard him call to her to stop; she supposed that his better feelings had reasserted themselves; and she had prepared herself to receive with dignity a broken; stammered apology。 But the voice that had just spoken with a crisp; biting intensity was not the voice of remorse。  It was a very angry man; not a penitent one; who was mandingnot beggingher to stop and listen to him。
 〃Well?〃 she said again; more coldly this time。 She was quite unable to understand this attitude of his。 She was the injured party。 It was she; not he who had trusted and been betrayed。
 〃I should like to explain。〃
 〃Please do not apologize。〃
 George ground his teeth in the gloom。
 〃I haven't the slightest intention of apologizing。 I said I would like to explain。 When I have finished explaining; you can go。〃
 〃I shall go when I please;〃 flared Maud。
 This man was intolerable。
 〃There is nothing to be afraid of。 There will be no repetition of theincident。〃
 Maud was outraged by this monstrous misinterpretation of her words。
 〃I am not afraid!〃
 〃Then; perhaps; you will be kind enough to listen。 I won't detain you long。 My explanation is quite simple。 I have been made a fool of。 I seem to be in the position of the tinker in the play whom everybody conspired to delude into the belief that he was a king。 First a friend of yours; Mr。 Byng; came to me and told me that you had confided to him that you loved me。〃
 Maud gasped。 Either this man was mad; or Reggie Byng was。 She choose the politer solution。
 〃Reggie Byng must have lost his senses。〃
 〃So I supposed。 At least; I imagined that he must be mistaken。 But a man in love is an optimistic fool; of course; and I had loved you ever since you got into my cab that morning 。 。 。〃
 〃What!〃
 〃So after a while;〃 proceeded George; ignoring the interruption; 〃I almost persuaded myself that miracles could still happen; and that what Byng said was true。 And when your father called on me and told me the very same thing I was convinced。 It seemed incredible; but I had to believe it。 Now it seems that; for some inscrutable reason; both Byng and your father were making a fool of me。 That's all。 Good night。〃
 Maud's reply was the last which George or any man would have expected。 There was a moment's silence; and then she burst into a peal of laughter。 It was the laughter of over…strained nerves; but to George's ears it had the ring of genuine amusement。
 〃I'm glad you find my story entertaining;〃 he said dryly。  He was convinced now that he loathed this girl; and that all he desired was to see her go out of his life for ever。 〃Later; no doubt; the funny side of it will hit me。 Just at present my sense of humour is rather dormant。〃
 Maud gave a little cry。
 〃I'm sorry! I'm so sorry; Mr。 Bevan。 It wasn't that。 It wasn't that at all。 Oh; I am so sorry。 I don't know why I laughed。 It certainly wasn't because I thought it funny。 It's tragic。 There's been a dreadful mistake!〃
 〃I noticed that;〃 said George bitterly。 The darkness began to afflict his nerves。 〃I wish to God we had some light。〃
 The glare of a pocket…torch smote upon him。
 〃I brought it to see my way back with;〃 said Maud in a curious; small voice。 〃It's very dark across the fields。 I didn't light it before; because I 
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