按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
It was a moment before he remembered where he was； then he swung his legs off the couch and reached for his pants。 The cigarettes were in the right…hand pocket。 He put one in his mouth and struck a match。
The flame flared in the darkness and he saw Rina sitting in the deep chair； looking at him。 He drew deeply on the cigarette and blew out the match。 〃Why ain't you sleeping？〃 he asked。
She took a deep breath。 〃I couldn't sleep；〃 she said。 'I'm afraid。〃
He looked at her quizzically。 〃Afraid； Rina？ Afraid of what？〃
She didn't move in the chair。 〃I'm afraid of what will happen to me。〃
He laughed quietly； reassuringly。 〃You're all set and you're young。 You got your whole life in front of you。〃
Her face was a luminous shadow in the darkness。 〃I know；〃 she whispered。 〃That's what I tell myself。 But the trouble is I can't make myself believe it。〃
Suddenly； she was on her knees on the floor in front of him。 〃You've got to help me； Nevada！〃
He reached out and stroked her hair。 〃Things take time； Rina；〃 he said。
Her hands caught at his。 〃You don't understand； Nevada；〃 she said harshly。 〃I've always felt like this。 Before I married Cord； before I ever came out here。 Even when I was a little girl。〃
〃I reckon； sometime or other； everyone's afraid； Rina。〃
Her voice was still hoarse with terror。 〃But not like me！ I'm different。 I'm going to die young of some horrible disease。 I know that； Nevada。 I feel it inside。〃
Nevada sat there quietly； his hand absently stroking her head as she cried。 〃Things'll be different once you get back East；〃 he said softly。 〃There'll be young men there an… 〃
She raised her hand and looked up at him。 The first faint flicker of morning light illuminated her features。 Her eyes were wide and shining with her tears。 〃Young men； Nevada？〃 she asked and her voice seemed to fill with scorn。 〃They're one of the things I'm afraid of。 Don't you think if I weren't； I'd have married Jonas instead of his father？〃
He didn't answer。
〃Young men are all alike；〃 she continued。 〃They only want one thing from me。〃 Her lips drew back across her white teeth and she spat the words out at him。 〃To fuck！ To do nothing but fuck； fuck； fuck！〃
He stared at her； a kind of shock running through him at hearing her clear and venomously ladylike articulation of the so familiar word。 Then it was gone and he smiled。
〃What do you expect； Rina？〃 he asked。 〃Why are you tellin' me all this？〃
Her eyes looked into his face。 〃Because I want you to know me；〃 she said。 〃I want you to understand what I'm like。 No man ever has。〃
The cigarette scorched his lips。 He put it out quickly。 〃Why me？〃
〃Because you're not a boy。〃 The answer came quickly。 〃You're a grown man。〃
〃An' you； Rina？〃 he asked。
Her eyes became almost defiant but her voice betrayed her unsureness。 〃I think I'm a Lesbian。〃
He laughed。
〃Don't laugh！〃 she said quickly。 〃It's not so crazy。 I've been with girls and I've been with men。 And I've never made it with a man； not with any man like I have with a girl。〃 She laughed bitterly。 〃Men are such fools。 It's so easy to make them believe what they want to。 And I know all the tricks。〃
His male vanity was aroused。 〃Maybe that's because you ain't never e up against a real man。〃
A challenging note came into her voice。 〃Oh； no？〃 He felt her fingers lightly search his thighs beneath the blanket and find his phallus。 Quickly she threw the blanket aside and pressed her head into his lap。 He felt the movement of her lips； and suddenly he was angry。
He pulled her head back by the hair。 〃What're you tryin' to prove？〃 he asked harshly。
Her breath came hard and uneven。 〃That you're the man；〃 she whispered。 〃The one man that can make me feel。〃
He stared at her； not answering。
〃You are the one； Nevada；〃 she whispered。 〃I know it。 I can feel it down inside me。 You can make me whole again。 I'll never be afraid any more。〃
She turned her head again but his hand held her firm。 Her eyes were wide and desperate。 〃Please； Nevada； please。 Let me prove how I can love you！〃 She began to cry again。
Suddenly； he got to his feet and went over to the fireplace。 He stirred the coals alive； fed them kindling and another log。 A moment later； a crackling heat came sparkling into the room。 He turned to look at her。 She was still sitting on the floor in front of the couch； watching him。
Slowly he walked back toward her。 〃When I asked you up here； Rina； I thought I was doin' the right thing。〃 He sat down and reached for a cigarette。
Before he could light it； she held a match for him。 〃Yes； Nevada？〃 she questioned softly。
The flame glowed in his eyes and died as the match went out。 〃I ain't the man you're lookin' for； Rina。〃
Her fingers touched lightly on his cheek。 〃No； Nevada；〃 she said quickly。 〃That's not true。〃
〃Mebbe not；〃 he said and a slow smile came over his lips。 〃But I figger I'm too young。 You see； all I want to do with you is … fuck； fuck； fuck！〃
She stared at him for a moment and then she began to smile。 She got up quickly and took the cigarette from his mouth。 Her lips brushed fleetingly against his for a moment； then she walked to the fire and turned to face him。 She put the cigarette between her lips and inhaled deeply。
Then she made a slight movement and the robe fell to the floor。 The leaping fire turned her naked body into red gold。 Swiftly she threw the cigarette into the fireplace behind her and started back toward him。
〃Maybe it's better this way；〃 she said； ing down into his outstretched arms。 〃Now we can be friends。〃
8
〃THE SHOW'S IN TROUBLE；〃 THE CASHIER SAID。
Nevada glanced at Rina。 She was looking out the window of the ticket wagon； watching the last act of the Wild…West show going on in the arena。 The faint sounds of the whooping and yelling drifted back to them on the still； warm air。
〃How much trouble？〃 Nevada asked； his eyes ing back from her。
〃Enough；〃 the cashier said flatly。 〃We're booked in a week behind Buffalo Bill Cody's show for the whole summer。 If these two weeks are any indication； we'll drop forty thousand this season。〃
A bugle sounding a charge hung in the air。 Nevada shifted in his unfortable wooden chair and began to roll a cigarette。 The performance was almost over now。 The cavalry was ing to the rescue of the beleaguered pioneers。 He stuck the cigarette in his mouth。
〃How'd you let a stupid thing like that happen？〃 he asked； the cigarette dangling unlit from his lips。
〃Wasn't my fault； Nevada；〃 the cashier answered quickly。 〃I think the agent sold us out。〃
Nevada didn't answer。 He lit the cigarette。
〃What you going to do？〃 the cashier asked worriedly。
Nevada filled his lungs with smoke。 〃Play out the season。〃
〃For forty grand？〃 The cashier's voice was shocked。 〃We can't afford to lose that much money！〃
Nevada studied him。 The cashier's face was flushed and embarrassed。 He wondered why the man seemed so upset。 It wasn't his money that was going to be lost。
〃We can't afford not to；〃 Nevada said。 〃We fold up； we lose all our top hands。 They won't sign with us for next year if we dump 'em now。〃
Nevada got to his feet； walked over to the window and looked out。 The Indians were riding out of the arena with the whooping cavalry hot after them。 He turned back to the cashier。 〃I'm takin' Mrs。 Cord down to the railroad station。 I'll drop in at the agent's office after that。 You wait for me here。 I'll be back。〃
〃O。K。； Nevada；〃 the cashier answered。
Nevada took Rina's arm as they went down the wagon steps。 They cut across the field to his car。 All around them hustled performers； hurrying their horses to the corral； racing to their wagons to change clothes； yelling to each other about their plans for the evening。
Rina turned to him as they reached the car。 〃Let me stay with you； Nevada； please。〃
He smiled slowly。 〃I thought we had that settled。〃
〃But； Nevada；〃 Her eyes grew serious。 〃There's nothing for me back East。 Really。 Here； at least； I can feel alive； excitement…
〃Stop actin' like a kid；〃 he said。 〃You're a grown woman now。 This ain't no life for you。 You'd be sick of it in a week。〃
〃I'll buy half your losses this season if you let me stay；〃 she said q