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I undid the top buttons of my shirt； loosening the collar； and rolled up my cuffs； aiming for informality； and I slid down until I was sitting on the floor with my head on the same level as Lenny's。
'If you're shit scared；' I said distinctly； 'I can do something about that； too。'
Nothing much happened。 He moaned a couple of times and fell silent and after a long while； I said； 'Do you want help； or don't you？ This is a good offer。 If you don't take it； whatever you're afraid of will probably happen。'
After a lengthy pause he rolled his head round； still wrapped in his arms； until I could see his face。 He was red…eyed； bony； unshaven and dribbling； and what came out of his slack mouth wasn't a groan but a croak。
'Who the bleeding hell are you？' He had an English accent and a habitual pugnacity of speech altogether at odds with his present state。
'Your bit of good luck；' I said calmly。
'Piss off； 'he said。
'Right。' I got to my feet。 'Too bad；' I said。 'Go on feeling sorry for yourself； and see where it gets you。'
I walked away from him； out of his sight。
'Here；' he said； croaking； making it sound like an order。
I stayed where I was。
'Wait；' he said urgently。
I did wait； but I didn't go back to him。 I heard the hay rustling and then a real groan as the hangover hit him； and finally he came staggering into view； keeping his balance with both hands on the green outside of Flokati's stall。 He stopped when he saw me。 Blinking； swaying； the Race Train T…shirt torn and filthy； he looked stupid； pathetic and spineless。
'Go back and sit down；' I said neutrally。 'I'll bring you something。'
He sagged against the green stall but finally turned round and shuffled back the way he'd e。 I went down to Leslie Brown and asked if she had any aspirins。
'Not aspirins； but these；' she said； proffering a box from a canvas holdall。 'These might do。'
I thanked her； filled a polystyrene cup with water and went back to see how Lenny was faring： he was sitting on the hay with his head in his hands looking a picture of misery and a lot more normal。
'Drink；' I said； giving him the water。 'And swallow these。'
'You said you could help me。'
'Yes。 Take the pills for a start。'
He was accustomed； on the whole； to doing what he was told； and he must have been reasonably good at his job； I supposed； to have been sent across Canada with Laurentide Ice。 He swallowed the pills and drank the water and not surprisingly they made no immediate difference to his physical woes。
'I want to get out of here；' he said with a spurt of futile violence。 'Off this bleeding train。 Off this whole effing trip。 And I've got no money。 I lost it。 It's gone。'
'All right；' I said。 'I can get you off。'
'Straight up？' He was surprised。
'Straight up。'
'When？'
'At Calgary。 In a couple of hours。 You can leave then。 Where do you want to go？'
He stared。 'You're having me on；' he said。
'No。 I'll get you taken care of； and I'll see you get a ticket to wherever you want。'
The dawning hope in his face became clouded with confusion。
'What about old Icy？' he said。 'Who'll look after him？'
It was the first thought he'd had which hadn't been raw self…pity； and I felt the first flicker of passion。
'We'll get another groom for old Icy；' I promised。 'Calgary's full of horse people。'
It wasn't exactly true。 The Calgary I'd known had been one of the six biggest cities in Canada； half the size of Montreal and on a population par with central Toronto。 Time might have changed the statistics slightly； but probably not much。 Calgary was no dusty old…west cattle town； but a sky…scrapered modern city set like a glittering oasis in the skirts of the prairies： and the Stampede； in which one July I'd worked as a bronco rider； was a highly organized ten…day rodeo with a stadium； adjacent art and stage shows and all the paraphernalia and razzamatazz of big…time tourist entertainment。 But Calgary； even in October； definitely had enough horse people around to provide a groom for Laurentide Ice。
I watched Lenny Higgs decide to jettison his horse； his job and his unbearable present。 Fearful that I would bungle the whole business because I'd never before actually tried this sort of unscrambling myself； I strove to remember John Millington's stated methods with people like the chambermaid at Newmarket。 Offer protection； make any promise that might get results； hold out carrots； be supportive； ask for help。
Ask for help。
'Could you tell me why you don't want to go on to Vancouver？' I said。
I made the question sound very casual； but it threw him back into overall panic； even if not into foetal position。
'No。' He shivered with intense alarm。 'Piss off。 It's none of your effing business。'
Without fuss I withdrew from him again； but this time I went further away； beyond Leslie Brown； right down to the exit door。
'Stay there；' I said to her； passing。 'Don't say anything to him； will you？'
She shook her head； folding her thin arms over my waistcoat and across her chest。 The dragon； I thought fleetingly； with the fire in abeyance。
'Here；' Lenny shouted behind me。 'e back。'
I didn't turn round。
He wailed despairingly at the top of his voice； 'I want to get off this train。'
It was； I thought； a serious cry for help。
I went back slowly。 He was standing between Flokati's stall and Sparrowgrass's； swaying unsteadily； watching me with haggard eyes。
When I was near him； I said simply； 'Why？'
'He'll kill me if I tell you。'
'That's rubbish；' I said。
'It isn't。' His voice was high。 'He said I'd effing die。'
'Who said？'
'Him。' He was trembling。 The threat had been of sufficient power for him to believe it。
'Who is him？' I asked。 'One of the owners？'
He looked blank； as if I were talking gibberish。
'Who is him？' I asked again。
'Some bloke。。。 I never saw him before。'
'Look；' I said calmingly； 'let's go back； sit on the hay； and you tell me why he said he'd kill you。' I pointed over his shoulders towards the bales and with a sort of exhausted pliance he stumbled that way and flopped into a huddled mess。
'How did he frighten you？' I asked。
'He。。。 came to the barns。。。 asked for me。'
'Asked for you by name？'
He nodded glumly。
'When was this？'
'Yesterday；' he said hoarsely。 'During the races。'
'Go on。'
'He said he knew all about old Icey's food being in numbered bags。' Lenny sounded aggrieved。 'Well； it wasn't a secret； was it？'
'No；' I said。
'He said he knew why。。。 because Mrs Quentin's other horse died。。。 'Lenny stopped and looked as if an abyss had opened before him。 'He started saying I done it。。。'
'Done what？'
Lenny was silent。
'Said you'd poisoned Mrs Quentin's other horse？' I suggested。
'I never did it。 I didn't。' He was deeply agitated。 'I never。'
'But this man said you did。'
'He said I would go to jail for it； and 〃they do bad things to boys like you in jail〃； he said。' He shivered。 'I know they do。 And he said。。。 〃Do you want AIDS； because you'll get it in jail； a pretty boy like you。'
Pretty； at that moment； he did not look。
'So what next？' I prompted。
'Well； I。。。 Well； I。。。' he gulped。 'I said I never did it； it wasn't me。。。 and he went on saying I'd go to jail and get AIDS and he went on and on。。。 and I told him。。。 I told him。'
'Told him what？'
'She's a nice lady；' he wailed。 'I didn't want to。。。 he made me。。。'
'Was it Mrs Quentin；' I asked carefully； 'who poisoned her horse？ '
He said miserably； 'Yes。 No。 See。。。 she gave me this bag of treats。。。 that's what she said they were； treats。。。 and to give them to her horse when no one was looking。。。 See； I didn't look after that horse of hers； it was another groom。 So I gave her horse the bag of treats private； like。。。 and it got colic and blew up and died。。。 Well； I asked her； after。 I was that scared。。 but she said it was all dreadful； she'd no idea her darling horse would get colic； and let's not say anything about it； she said； and she gave me a hundred dollars； and I didn't。。。 I didn't want to be blame