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She was aware that most of the people in the crowded room had turned to see what the motion was about； but she didn't care。 She was not going to let Anlock off that easily。 She stayed with him： 〃You don't want facts； you just want drama； you want blood and thunder； you want people to bare their souls to you； then you edit what they say； change it； misreport it； get it all wrong most of the time； and that's a kind of rape； damn it。〃
She realized that she was in the grip of the same rage she had experienced at the crash site； and that she was not half as angry at Anlock as she was at God； futile as that might be。 The reporter was just a more convenient target than the Almighty； who could stay hidden in some shadowy corner of His heaven。 She'd thought her anger had subsided； she was disconcerted to find that same black fury welling high within her again。
She was over the top； out of control； and she didn't care…until she realized CNN was on the air live。 A predatory glint in Anlock's eyes and a twist of irony in his expression alerted her that he was not entirely dismayed by her outburst。 She was giving him good color； first…rate drama； and he could not resist using it even if he was the object of her abuse。
Later； of course； he would magnanimously excuse her behavior to viewer； insincerely sympathizing with the emotional trauma she had endured； thus ing off as a fearless reporter and a passionate guy。
Furious with herself for playing into his game when she should have known that only the reporter ever wins； Holly turned from the camera men as she walked away； she heard Anlock saying； 〃。 。 。 quite understandable； of course； given what the poor woman has just been through。 。 。〃
She wanted to go back and smash him in the face。 And wouldn't that please him！ What's wrong with you； Thorne？ she demanded of herself You never lose it。 Not like this。 You never lose it； but now you're definitely； absolutely losing it。
Trying to ignore the reporters and suppress her sudden interest in s analysis； she went looking for Jim Ironheart again but still had no luck locating him。 He was not among the latest group arriving from the crash site。 None of the United employees could find his name on the passenger roster； which did not exactly surprise Holly。
She figured he was still in the field； assisting the search…and…rescue team in whatever way he could。 She was eager to speak with him； but she would have to be patient。
Although some of the reporters were wary of her after the way she verbally assaulted Anlock； she knew how to manipulate her own kind。
Sipping from a Styrofoam cup of bitter black coffee…as if she needed caffeine to improve her edgeshe drifted around the room and into the hall outside； pumping them without revealing that she was one of them； and she was able to obtain bits of interesting information。
Among other things； she discovered that two hundred survivors were already accounted for； and that the death toll was unlikely to exceed fifty； a miraculously loa number of fatalities； considering the breakup of the plane and the subsequent fire。 She should have been exhilarated by that good news； for it meant Jim's intervention had permitted the captain to save many more lives than fate had intended； but instead of rejoicing； she brooded about those who； in spite of everything； had been lost。
She also learned that members of the flight crew； all of whom survived； were hoping to find a passenger who had been a great help to them； a man described as 〃Jim Something； sort…of a…Kevin…Costner…lookalike with very blue eyes。〃 Because the first federal officials to arrive on the scene were also eager to talk to Jim Something； the media began looking for him as well。
Gradually Holly realized that Jim would not be putting in an appearance。
He would fade； just as he always did after one of his exploits； moving quickly beyond the reach of reporters and officialdom of all stripes。
Jim was the only name for him that they would ever have。
Holly was the first person； at the site of one of his rescues； to whom he had given his full name。 She frowned； wondering why he had chosen to reveal more to her than to anyone else。
Outside the door of the nearest women's restroom； she encountered Christine Dubrovek； who returned her purse and asked about Steve Harkman； never realizing that he was the mysterious Jim after whom everyone else was inquiring。
〃He had to be in Chicago this evening； no matter what； so he's already rented a car and left；〃 Holly lied。
〃I wanted to thank him again；〃 Christine said。 〃But I guess I'll have to wait until we're both back in Los Angeles。 He works in the same pany as my husband； you know。〃
Casey； close at her mother's side； had scrubbed the soot off her face and bed her hair。 She was eating a chocolate bar； but she did not appear to be enjoying it。
As soon as she could； Holly excused herself and returned to the emergency…assistance center that United had established in a corner of the VIP lounge。 She tried to arrange for a flight that； regardless of the number of connections； would return her to Los Angeles that night。
But Dubuque was not exactly the hub of the universe； and all seats to anywhere in southern California were already booked。 The best she could do was a flight to Denver in the morning； followed by a noon flight from Denver to LAX。
United arranged overnight lodging for her； and at six o'clock； Holly found herself alone in a clean but cheerless room at the Best Western Midway Motor Lodge。 Maybe it was not really so cheerless； in her current state of mind； she would not have been capable of appreciating a suite at the Ritz。
She called her parents in Philadelphia to let them know she was safe； in case they had seen her on CNN or spotted her name among a list of Flight 246 survivors in tomorrow's newspaper。
They were happily unaware of her close call； but they insisted on whipping up a prime case of retrospective fright。 She found herself consoling them； instead of the other way around； which was touching because it confirmed how much they loved her。 〃I don't care how important this story is you're working on；〃 her mother said； 〃you can take a bus the rest of the way； and a bus home。〃
Knowing she was loved did not improve Holly's mood。
Though her hair was a tangled mess and she smelled of smoke； she walked to a nearby shopping center； where she used her Visa card to purchase a change of clothes： socks； underwear； blue jeans； a white blouse； and a lightweight denim jacket。 She bought new Reeboks； too； because she could not shake the suspicion that the discolorations on her old pair were bloodstains。
In her room again； she took the longest shower of her life； lathering and relathering herself until one entire plimentary motel…size bar of soap had been reduced to a crumbling sliver。 She still did not feel clean； but she finally turned the water off when she realized that she was trying to scrub away something that was inside of her。
She ordered a sandwich； salad； and fruit from room service。 When it came； she could not eat it。
She sat for a while； just staring at the wall。
She dared not turn on the television。 She didn't want to risk catching a news report about the crash of Flight 246。
If she could have called Jim Ironheart； she would have done so at once。
She would have called him every ten minutes； hour after hour； until he arrived home and answered。 But she already knew that his number was not listed。
Eventually she went down to the cocktail lounge； sat at the bar； and ordered a beer…a dangerous move for someone with her pathetic tolerance for alcohol。 Without food to acpany it； one bottle of Beck's would probably knock her unconscious for the rest of the night。
A traveling salesman from Omaha tried to strike up a conversation with her。 He was in his mid…forties； not unattractive； and seemed nice enough； but she didn't want to lead him on。 She told him； as nicely as she could； that she was not looking to get picked up。
〃Me neither；〃 he said； and smiled。 〃All I want is someone to talk to。〃
She believed him； and her instincts proved reliable。 They sat at the bar together for a couple of hou