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rned toward her； and Kay said in contrition； 〃Oh； Mike； I don't even notice that stupid thing； I swear I don't。〃
〃I know；〃 Michael said laughing。 〃I like having it now except that it makes the snot drip out of my nose。〃
〃You said be serious；〃 Kay went on。 〃If we get married what kind of a life am I supposed to lead？ Like your mother； like an Italian housewife with just the kids and home to take care of？ And what about if something happens？ I suppose you could wind up in jail someday。〃
〃No； that's not possible；〃 Michael said。 〃Killed； yes； jail； no。〃
Kay laughed at this confidence； it was a laugh that had a funny mixture of pride with its amusement。 〃But how can you say that？〃 she said。 〃Really。〃
Michael sighed。 〃These are all the things I can't talk to you about； I don't want to talk to you about。〃
Kay was silent for a long time。 〃Why do you want me to marry you after never calling me all these months？ Am I so good in bed？〃
Michael nodded gravely。 〃Sure；〃 he said。 〃But I'm getting it for nothing so why should I marry you for that？ Look； I don't want an answer now。 We're going to keep seeing each other。 You can talk it over with your parents。 I hear your father is a real tough guy in his own way。 Listen to his advice。〃
〃You haven't answered why； why you want to marry me；〃 Kay said。
Michael took a white handkerchief from the drawer of the night table and held it to his nose。 He blew into it and then wiped。 〃There's the best reason for not marrying me；〃 he said。 〃How would that be having a guy around who always has to blow his nose？〃
Kay said impatiently； 〃e on； be serious； I asked you a question。〃
Michael held the handkerchief in his hand。 〃OK；〃 he said； 〃this one time。 You are the only person I felt any affection for； that I care about。 I didn't call you because it never occurred to me that you'd still be interested in me after everything that's happened。 Sure； I could have chased you； I could have conned you； but I didn't want to do that。 Now here's something I'll trust you with and I don't want you to repeat it even to your father。 If everything goes right； the Corleone Family will be pletely legitimate in about five years。 Some very tricky things have to be done to make that possible。 That's when you may bee a wealthy widow。 Now what do I want you for？ Well； because I want you and I want a family。 I want kids； it's time。 And I don't want those kids to be influenced by me the way I was influenced by my father。 I don't mean my father deliberately influenced me。 He never did。 He never even wanted me in the family business。 He wanted me to bee a professor or a doctor； something like that。 But things went bad and I had to fight for my Family。 I had to fight because l love and admire my father。 I never knew a man more worthy of respect。 He was a good husband and a good father and a good friend to people who were not so fortunate in life。 There's another side to him； but that's not relevant to me as his son。 Anyway I don't want that to happen to our kids。 I want them to be influenced by you。 I want them to grow up to be All…American kids； real All…American； the whole works。 Maybe they or their grandchildren will go into politics。〃 Michael grinned。 〃Maybe one of them will be President of the United States。 Why the hell not？ In my history course at Dartmouth we did some background on all the Presidents and they had fathers and grandfathers who were lucky they didn't get hanged。 But I'll settle for my kids being doctors or musicians or teachers。 They'll never be in the Family business。 By the time they are that old I'll be retired anyway。 And you and I will be part of some country club crowd； the good simple life of well…to…do Americans。 How dote that strike you for a proposition？〃
〃Marvelous；〃 Kay said。 〃But you sort of skipped ones the widow part。〃
〃There's not much chance of that。 I just mentioned it to give a fair presentation。〃 Michael patted his nose with the handkerchief。
〃I can't believe it； I can't believe you're a man like that； you're just not；〃 Kay said。 Her face had a bewildered look。 〃I just don't understand the whole thing； how it could possibly be。〃
〃Well； I'm not giving any more explanations；〃 Michael said gently。 〃You know； you don't have to think about any of this stuff； it has nothing to do with you really； or with our life together if we get married。〃
Kay shook her head。 〃How can you want to marry me； how can you hint that you love me； you never say the word but you just now said you loved your father； you never said you loved me； how could you if you distrust me so much you can't tell me about the most important things in your life？ How can you want to have a wife you can't trust？ Your father trusts your mother。 I know that。〃
〃Sure；〃 Michael said。 〃But that doesn't mean he tells her everything。 And； you know； he has reason to trust her。 Not because they got married and she's his wife。 But she bore him four children in times when it was not that safe to bear children。 She nursed and guarded him when people shot him。 She believed in him。 He was always her first loyalty for forty years。 After you do that maybe I'll tell you a few things you really don't want to hear。〃
〃Will we have to live in the mall？〃 Kay asked。
Michael nodded。 〃We'll have our own house； it won't be so bad。 My parents don't meddle。 Our lives will be our own。 But until everything gets straightened out； I have to live in the mall。〃
〃Because it's dangerous for you to live outside it；〃 Kay said。
For the first time since she had e to know him； she saw Michael angry。 It was cold chilling anger that was not externalized in any gesture or change in voice。 It was a coldness that came off him like death and Kay knew that it was this coldness that would make her decide not to marry him if she so decided。
〃The trouble is all that damn trash in the movies and the newspapers；〃 Michael said。 〃You've got the wrong idea of my father and the Corleone Family。 I'll make a final explanation and this one will be really final。 My father is a businessman trying to provide for his wife and children and those friends he might need someday in a time of trouble。 He doesn't accept the rules of the society we live in bgcause those rules would have condemned him to a life not suitable to a man like himself； a man of extraordinary force and character。 What you have to understand is that he considers himself the equal of all those great men like Presidents and Prime Ministers and Supreme Court Justices and Governors of the States。 He refuses to live by rules set up by others； rules which condemn him to a defeated life。 But his ultimate aim is to enter that society with a certain power since society doesn't really protect its members who do not have their own individual power。 In the meantime he operates on a code of ethics he considers far superior to the legal structures of society。〃
Kay was looking at him incredulously。 〃But that's ridiculous；〃 she said。 〃What if everybody felt the same way？ How could society ever function； we'd be back in the times of the cavemen。 Mike； you don't believe what you're saying； do you？〃
Michael grinned at her。 〃I'm just telling you what my father believes。 I just want you to understand that whatever else he is； he's not irresponsible； or at least not in the society which he has created。 He's not a crazy machine…gunning mobster as you seem to think。 He's a responsible man in his own way。〃
〃And what do you believe？〃 Kay asked quietly。
Michael shrugged。 〃I believe in my family；〃 he said。 〃I believe in you and the family we may have。 I don't trust society to protect us； I have no intention of placing my fate in the hands of men where only qualification is that they managed to con a block of people to vote for them。 But that's for now。 My father's time is done。 The things he did can no longer be done exeept wilt a great deal of risk。 Whether we like it or not the Corleone Family has to join that society。 But when they do I'd like us to join it with plenty of our own power； that is； money and ownership of other valuables。 I'd like to make my children as secure as possible before the